Overwhelming and Broken

2 weeks post stroke today.

The past few days have been overwhelming. Friday was a doctor day. I felt like the rug was being pulled out from underneath me, even though it had already been taken.

More labs, schedule iron infusions because my hemoglobin is just enough to be compatible with life in the words of my doctor. Schedule more doctors appointments, a cardiologist, a rheumatologist, an endocrinologist, a gynecologist, and a neurologist. More tests. Does it ever end?

Friday was also a funeral day. We went to support a friend in laying to rest of his mother. It was a bittersweet reminder that once again that we are never promised tomorrow. 3 weeks to the day that I said my see you later to one of the greatest men I ever knew. So many thoughts that I have had in the past 3 weeks. It still doesn't seem real... ANY OF IT! But that is for another day. I don't do well when I let my brain wander there.

I tried to get lab work done that afternoon, but there were no openings, I tried again Saturday morning but again no openings, so I decided to make an appointment. Went and had some lunch and was pretty much exhausted. But I had a goal to work toward so I pushed myself that day and road to New Port Richey sat in an air conditioned car for about an hour to rest. Went to Hobby Lobby and was ready to go within 20 minutes. Yes for those of you that know me you read that right... I was ready to go! I was ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED! Then the hour ride home. It was way to much.

Sunday I tried again. to the grocery store. Small errand. I could handle this right... WRONG! Even that was too much. 10 minutes from the house, 20 minutes in the store with a list and 10 minutes home. I literally had to take a nap.

I just feel broken, frustrated, scared and alone.

Sincerely Me, Chasing my Serenity